The Legend of Plum the Plaid
Plum was an archmage who specialized in magical research and artifact creation. In order to gather materials, he fashioned a number of automatons and hired a number of servants, whom he equipped for their work. In his mad schemes, he also formulated a number of spells to empower his creations and servants. He is best remembered for his robes: a mad squarish pattern of red, green, yellow, and cyan, which also covers his spell book and is the material upon which he wrote his scrolls.
Anyone gazing upon this pattern must make a save vs. Spells or be subject to a random Command spell (Open any book–dictionaries work well–and point. The first verb wins.) at 20th level. He and his servants are immune. Note also that all artifacts are subject to scrying by Plum (the lich) through his specialized crystal ball. Any users who also own an Amulet of Proof vs. Detection & Location (q.v.), will be hunted down and killed, the amulet returned to Plum.
The following are a number of products of his warped mind (All spell effects are at 20th level unless otherwise noted):
Note that any of these artifacts will attempt Artifact Transformation (see Book of Artifacts ), transforming the weilder into an insane orc (is that redundant?) who is totally loyal to Plum.
Adderfang : This +2 Scimitar has a crosspiece made to resemble two interwoven snakes of copper and jade, the head of one biting the tail of the other, wrapped around two amethysts. The blade appears to be a copper alloy and has a green aura. The pommel resembles a large topaz in the mouth of a snake.
Powers : This blade inflicts a poisonous wound on every natural 17 or better. Save vs. poison or die. The wielder is also able to cast Snake Charm (q.v.) and Sticks to Snakes (q.v.) each once per day.
Chaosphere : This is an orb consisting of 26 equally-spaced needle-like spikes, which are sharpened on the sides as well like a double-edged sword.
Powers : This sphere can be controlled with a magic helmet and will rotate on a random axis, moving according to the will of the user. It can attack twice per round with a range of 50′ with the speed of a dagger, inflicting 3d6+3 damage. It hits as a fighter 3 levels higher than the user, and the user is immune to harm from it. Note that Plum is constantly able to see through the eyes of the wearer of the magic helmet.
Clothesliner : This is a pair of identical +2 short swords which are always found together. Aside from the gold and leather hilts, they look relatively normal. Closer inspection will reveal a slot near the tang of each blade and a notch near each tip. They are constructed so that the blades may be inserted into each other’s hilts so as to cover both points.
Powers : When joined, the weapon is +4. If the wielder is charging or has a running start, damage is doubled (note that this is the only possible attack that round). If the wielder is starting from higher ground and leaping down on the target, damage is tripled. A natural 20 causes automatic decapitation. If the swords are ever separated more than 10 miles, one will randomly teleport to the other, unerringly depositing itself in the weilder’s heart.
Constrictor : This +3 bastard sword has a hilt and crosspiece which resemble a snake woven around it. The snake appears to be made of bronze with 2 black diamond eyes. The head of the snake wraps around the pommel–a large star amethyst.
Powers : The wielder of the sword can cast Hold Person 5 times per day and Hold monster 3/day. On a natural 20, it can Trap the Soul of the target. At the same time, it releases the previously trapped soul, which becomes a wraith (q.v.). The wielder can communicate with the soul within the sword, which retains its full personality.
Dagger of Lobotomizing : This dagger has a silver blade with an ebony handle, an ivory skull on the small crosspiece at the base of the blade. The skull has the symbol of chaos carved into its forehead and black diamonds for eyes. The pommel is identical to the crosspiece skull, except that it is larger and of onyx..
Powers : This is a +3 throwing dagger which, when thrown, on a natural 19-20, inflicts x4 normal damage and inflicts the target with a Lobotomy spell (q.v.). The dagger has only one charge, but it is rechargeable.
Dragontail Arrows : Made from the scales of huge evil dragons, these arrows are carved to look like the appropriate dragon, the mouth serving as knock and the tail as the arrowhead.
Powers : They are +[age rating of the dragon], inflicting an additional [age]d6 damage according to color by exploding on upon entering the target. Calculate the age by rolling 6d8 and choosing the lowest number rolled.
Dragontongue : This is a gold-bladed bastard sword. The hilt is in the shape of a dragon with the wings forming the crosspiece and the tail wrapped around a large fire opal to form the pommel. The head is enlarged so as to be as wide as the blade so that the blade appears to be coming out of the mouth as a tongue. The hilt assembly appears to be wrought from the tooth of a Gold Dragon with rubies for eyes.
Powers : When drawn, this blade glows with a red flame, acting as a bastard sword +3 but causing additional damage as a 20th level Flaming Hands spell, igniting combustibles, and causes a Heat Metal spell on the target’s armor. The sword also inflicts double damage to Cold users.
Eye of the Beholder : This orb is an open geode surrounded by platinum with a black pearl in the center, appearing like a purple-irised eyeball about 8″ in diameter.
Powers : This orb has all of the powers of a beholder’s eyes, each usable 3x/day and give its owner immunity to the powers of a beholder, but not spells which generate the same effects. Note that it will fit in the eye socket of anything Hill Giant size or larger for easy use, and when used such, it will grant binocular vision and 30′ Infravision.
Flametongue : This artifact is a bladeless hilt carved from the pelvis of an efreet in the shape of a red dragon’s head. The eyes are star sapphires, and the nostrils continually emit a sulfurous smoke. Inside the dragon’s open mouth is a large ruby where the tang would normally be inserted. When held and the command word spoken, a blade of magical fire the size and shape of a bastard sword issues forth from the ruby and will remain until the “stop” command word is spoken or the blade is dropped.
Powers: This weapon does damage as a bastard sword +3, but with the speed of a dagger, additionally inflicting 3d6 points of fire damage, igniting combustibles.
Hammer Of Lucerne: This +3 lucerne hammer is made from enchanted lucerne (alfalfa). It appears frail but is in fact unbreakable by all but the strongest enchantments.
Powers : It commands all types of rabbits, horses and cows of semi- or lesser intelligence.
Pearl of Pummeling : This +3 mace appears to be spun gold resembling a dragon’s forearm and claws grasping a huge pearl.
Powers : The pearl can also be used as a Crystal Ball with ESP (q.v.). It does double damage to anything with a 7 or lower Intelligence. It can also cast Feeblemind (q.v.) once/week.
Plum’s Profitable Purse : This is a leather bag containing 8 GP.
Powers : The coins in this purse are enchanted. Whenever they are removed from the bag, they will return via Teleportation 24 hours later. Note that this is only possible if the coins are on the same plane as the purse, which, if separated at the 24 hour mark, will remove the enchantment from the coin. Note that use of these coins is really just easy theft, and to be avoided by those of Lawful alignments.
Potion of the Planes : A mouthful of this potion will enable the user of this potion to travel to the plane of his choice. However, it must be gargled while speaking the name of the specific plane desired. 10 uses may be drawn from a single vial. Anyone sipping it will be sent to a random plane, and drinking a full or partially full vial will cause the imbiber to travel to one plane after another, remaining on each for 1d100 rounds, the number of planes corresponding to the number of draughts left, and remaining on the last plane. (N.B. One component of the potion is a Potion of Rainbow Hues (q.v.), and the user will turn the corresponding color of the destination plane.)
Rod of Lordly Mites : This weapon appears identical to a Rod of Lordly Might (q.v.), even functioning the same way.
Powers : In addition to the standard powers, it can also cast Insect Swarm 3x per day.
Shields of Raving Plaidness : Four of these shields are known to exist, each owned by one of Plum’s lackeys. Each shield has the equivalent effect of Plum’s robes, also offering a +3 dweomer.
Sword of the Dead : This longsword is carved from the femur of a dracolich, boiled in ghoul drool. The blade is bone white with ochre stains covering it in a random pattern. The hilt resembles a ram skull, the horns serving as the crosspiece. Detection spells will detect a strong necromantic dweomer.
Powers : This blade has a +2 enchantment and is +4 vs. anything dead. Note that it has no special abilities against the un dead, only that which is truly dead as a doornail. It can also turn the dead as a 20th level cleric, which is believed to be the origin of the expression, “If your Uncle Horace knew about this, he’d turn in his grave!” Although this weapon appears relatively useless to the average adventurer, it is of untold value to anyone forced to wade through a sea of corpses, such as most of the battles involving Plum.
The Chaosword : This longsword’s blade was forged of black mithril, cooled in the combined saliva of a ki-rin and a nightmare. The hilt is carved from ebony in the shape of the Symbol of Chaos. Each branch (except the blade) ends with a black onyx skull. The blade is inscribed with the word “Chaos” written in the Modron language, inlaid with obsidian. Its scabbard is made from the hide of a black unicorn. Black flame encircles the blade when drawn, and the onyx skulls glow with the alignment color of the persona within when filled.
Powers : This sword suffers from multiple personality disorder, manifesting the personalities of the last seven who’ve been killed by it. It can use any language known to its current persona and use any memorized spells or psionic talents, as well as instructing its wielder in any known non-weapon proficiencies. Otherwise, it is +3 with an automatic Trap the Soul on anyone reduced to -10 hitpoints by it. Note that the oldest personality will usually try to kill the user if no more suitable victims are around, thus releasing him/herself. Note also that each contained soul will attempt Artifact Possession (q.v. Book of Artifacts ).
Casting Time: 1 Round
Saving Throw: Special
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Description: This spell removes the passion centers from the brain, effectively taking the victim out of the game. If the save is failed, the victim becomes a drooling vegetable. It is reversible with a Wish, Heal, or Regenerate spell (q.v.). The material component is a platinum and obsidian scalpel of at least 1000 gp value which is consumed during casting.
O’Llej’s Transformation (Alteration)
Casting Time: 8
Duration: Permanent until dispelled
Saving Throw: Neg
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Description: This spell turns a victim’s bones, cartilage, exoskeleton, etc. into jelly. The somatic component involves moving the material component, a dull dagger, over the hand in a spreading motion. The verbal component is a “snarfing” noise.